Ben's Fresh Start

I was sitting in front of my workstation, staring at the computer screen. It is almost midnight. I told myself that I have to finish up my work so I can get a good rest for the following day.

I looked at my mobile phone. Been waiting for that someone to call me for the past few days. I tried calling before but no one answered. I wondered what is the matter. But I told myself, I have to concentrate and finish up my work.

And then my mobile rang.....

I looked at the screen to check who is the caller, and guess what...it is the long awaited call.

But I did not answer. I continued working...

 

Finally, done with work. I went home, had a nice warm shower and went to bed. Totally forgotten about the call.

I am trying to be positive since the turn of the year, hoping that it will help make this year a fantastic year (it is my year anyways). I noticed I have not blogged since October last year. Maybe because I have been ignorant and turn a blind eye to the many issues that I had and I knew that someday, it will come back and haunt me.

 

Had an awesome holiday as I was away from civilization and this is the first time in many years that I actually do something different in Summer. Leaving out the details of the holidays, lets just say that I would love to do it again some time near future (mid year? end of the year?) haha.

 

Oh, hang on. Am I a bit lost? Cause what I have written so far is not connected to the title.

 

Actually, I have been thinking ever since I returned. Why do people make things complicated when it is really that simple? It doesn't make sense.

For example (in general), when I get into trouble and the obvious option is there to be taken, I still doubt them and question them. Is that just being plain silly or making things complicated? Sigh...

 

I hate...to complicate matters. I normally just give in and deal with it. Suck it up, so they say. Its when others take advantage of this situation that annoys me. They push you to the brink of death. Selfishness...what has the world become to? Greediness...is it necessary? You can have one or two, but not all. I hate greedy people. These are the people that complicate things.

 

I think I will stop here because I feel that I will ramble on and on about how things should be but the fact is, that is how it is. So deal with it!

Hello,

 

Been a while huh? I never thought that it would take me so long to update my blog (as if). I guess it is about time that I work my brain and come up with something. So I thought why not write about this, obligation.

It has been a while actually, I have been thinking about this.

But before I continue, I shall explain what obligation means. According to Answers.com, obligation is the action of binding oneself by social, legal or moral tie. A social, legal or moral requirement, such as duty, contract or promise that compels one to follow or avoid a particular course of action. I would specifically say, social obligations. Then come the questions:

What is your obligation as a child?

What is your obligation as a friend?

What is your obligation as a partner?

What is your obligation as a random person in public?

 

Need some answers but no rush. I guess these are the things we find out when we grow older

 

Ben

When I sit myself quietly in the room and look at your picture, I smile to myself. That's my life, for now.

 

ben-san 

I felt a sudden chill run through my entire body. Is it just me or something else? So I decided to go out for a puff drive. Yes indeed it was cold outside that caused me the chill, so I thought. I was quite surprised to be honest because earlier I was out, at work. It was not this cold. And also, it has not been this cold for a couple of weeks, more than a month I believe. Has Mr Iwanafreezeu2death decided to return and haunt us? Spring is just a month away, so I guess it is still normal to have cold nights such as tonight. OK, enough of this bullcrap.

 

So I went for a drive and decided to grab myself a pie. Really can't imagine myself without a car, especially the red hot blazing car I am driving now, keeps me warm when I am cold . Today is just one of those days you just watch time passes by. I have been having sleeping disorders lately, insomnia? Maybe, I do not know. I should go to the doctor to check on that. Speaking of that, I might need to do a medical check up as part of my visa application to extend my stay here. Hopefully everything is in order and I do not have to worry too much anymore, it might help this sleeping disorder as well, as one of the cause of insomnia is stress.

 

Yesterday night was one of those nights. I was really tired because I stayed up the night before to finish up my assignment. But I couldn't go to bed yet because I was waiting for an outcome of a partnership project that I have been working on. The moment arrived and it was bad news. The other guy seems to have a bit of a problem and decided to put the project on hold. I was worried and disappointed because my whole life depended on it. If it does not work out, I really have no idea where to go. After hearing that, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of what life is going to be like if the project is canceled. This one project is something I have been looking forward to.

 

So there I was, lying down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling in my bedroom. Couldn't sleep. Then I heard some noise from next door. It was very faint. I decided to move closer towards the bedroom wall. I can hear them clearer now. Tell me, what in the world that people would do during this time of the hour...

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yes, MARBLES. I can hear the sound of marbles hitting each other and the shout of excitement everytime the marble hits the target (or not, which I was not sure). I wasn't sure what are these people thinking, playing marbles at this time of the hour (probably too bored) and I can't help thinking of the time when I was a kid that I used to play it a lot. Arh...the good old times.

 

And soon, I dozed off...

 

ben-san